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Palantir–The PayPal Mafia’s Darker, Sexier Sequel
Welcome back. Today, we’re unpacking a bold claim: Palantir is the new PayPal Mafia.
These ex-Palantir folks aren’t chasing likes—they’re tackling defense, AI, and enterprise. Think Anduril’s drones, not TikTok dances. Data’s their game.
Let’s dive into the numbers and the players shaping this cosmic shift.
First, a quick rewind.
The PayPal Mafia
You’ve heard of them, right? The PayPal crew—those nerds who cashed out to eBay for $1.5 billion in 2002 and then conquered the world.
Elon Musk, Peter Thiel, Reid Hoffman, and the gang didn’t just build a payment app; they spawned an empire of tech titans—Tesla, LinkedIn, YouTube, Yelp—like Greek Gods tossing lightning bolts and startups from Mount Silicon.
They’re the mafia that trades bullets for billions.
I could name-drop every smug face in that legendary photo, but let’s skip the roll call. We’re here for the sequel to Peter Thiel’s PayPal saga—a darker, sexier beast.
Palantir.
The Next Chapter: Palantir
Say hello to Palantir.
Thiel’s brainchild, born in 2003 with Alex Karp and a few other geniuses, is PayPal’s shadowy big brother.
Named after Lord of the Rings spy-stones, it’s a data-crunching monster that started hunting terrorists for the CIA and now stalks secrets for governments and megacorps alike.
PayPal moved money; Palantir moves mountains—of data, power, and controversy. It’s Thiel’s middle finger to the ordinary, a billion-dollar enigma that’s equal parts genius and Big Brother vibes.
The Mafia built the world. Palantir’s watching it. Buckle up.
We hate playing favorites, but these Palantir spawn deserve their damn roses—and maybe a crown or two.
Anduril
Tatted on our friend Cyan Banister’s arm…
Palmer Luckey, the Oculus boy-genius who traded VR headsets for battlefield dominance, founded Anduril.
He poached Palantir heavyweights Trae Stephens, Matt Grimm, and Brian Schimpf to build a defense-tech monster that’s rewriting the Pentagon’s playbook. By 2025, they’ve raked in $3.8B and hit a $28B valuation—because nothing says “America” like drones and dollars.
This isn’t just innovation; it’s a middle finger to rusty old war machines.
Garry Tan
Palantir’s “almost founder” and #10 hire back in ‘05.
This guy coded their first finance tool—probably on a napkin—then bolted to start Initialized Capital, dropping early bets on Coinbase and Instacart like a Silicon Valley psychic. Now he’s the Y Combinator shot-caller, turning startups into unicorns while sipping artisanal coffee.
Not bad for a dude who skipped the Palantir spy thriller.
The Winners (A Few Badasses)
- Joe Lonsdale, Co-founder: Addepar—$495M to keep Wall Street’s elite swimming in cash.
- Cai Wangwilt, Software Engineer: Ironclad—$333M to make contracts less soul-crushing.
- Mati Staniszewski, Deployment Strategist: ElevenLabs—$281M for AI voices so real they’ll catfish your grandma.
- Nick Noone, Head of U.S. Special Ops: Peregrine—$252.7M to out-snoop the spooks.
- Tarek Mansour, Forward Deployed Engineer: Kalshi—$110M to let you gamble on tomorrow’s chaos.
No flops, no duds—just 30+ alumni flexing $6B+ in funding like it’s a casual Tuesday. The big dogs—a16z, Sequoia, and Thiel’s Founders Fund (obviously)—are all in, bankrolling this crew to the moon.
Anduril’s arming the future, ElevenLabs is giving AI a voice (and a creepy edge),
Chapter’s untangling healthcare, and that’s just the warm-up. Defense, AI, health, finance—these Palantir grads are everywhere, winning everything.
PayPal 2.0? Screw that. This is the remix: AI-powered, geopolitics-charged, world-dominating chaos.
